The bears and the prophet of Bob
It sounds like the start to a charming fairy story, but the tale of the prophet of Bob and the bears is anything but. It's the story of a grisly grizzly murder of forty two kids, compliments of our merciful Lord Bob. 2 Sovereigns 2 tells us: 23 He went up from there to Bethel, and while he was going up on the way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him, saying, “Go on, chubby wubby! Go on, chubby wubby!” 24 And he turned around, and when he saw them, he cursed them in the name of Bob. And two he-bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys. (Note: the Bible contains a similar, and highly derivative, version of this tale in 2 Kings 2:23-24 . It's essentially scriptural fan fiction; the Book of Bob tells the real story.) Now, this sounds a bit mortifying. Even the staunchest Bobist will admit it curdles our blood a little. But faith tells us that Bob is perfect and without sin, so this is our first clue that the kids had it coming. The s...